Today is a special day for me as I become a year older (a day older, actually. I didn’t just pack a whole year into today now, did I?).
This year’s birthday, I can say with all truthfulness, is definitely much better than every single one of my previous birthdays, except for the ones when I was still a kid and didn’t have thoughts of anything else than how I would eat, drink, play and sleep.
Looking at this past year, there are a couple of lessons I have learnt. These are the things I recognize as having helped me have a year to be proud of.
1. Relationships
This cannot really be stressed enough. It is not what you know, it is who you know. That is, who you know will get you places, then what you know will keep you there.
I used to strongly fight that statement when I was much younger (and sillier), feeling that it just gives undue advantage to some people. But as I grow older and wiser (less silly), I have come to realize that this life is structured just like that.
Before you argue with me, remember the story of Rahab the Harlot and the spies? – Joshua 6:17. Also, see Ezekiel 14: 12 – 20. God Himself mentions 3 men. He gave them special mention.
And you say having connections give “unfair” advantage?
2. Move with a community of like-minded people
Honestly, I began to take more control of my Facebook activities towards the end of 2018, and it has had a direct impact in my life. I first discovered one group, then another and another, and it was around that time that my journey of personal development really started.
Before that time, Facebook was just “social media” for me. Go there, have fun, read silly posts and share nonsense, waste your time and exhaust your data. Then buy more data and continue the cycle.
But since I discovered that there is something else to do on Facebook apart from having mindless fun, Facebook has become another school for me. I am really facing my book now. 😄
Some of the groups that have really changed my life include: Online Publishers and Entrepreneurs Network (OPEN); Headstart Africa Community w/ John Obidi; Brilliant Entrepreneurs and Writers Academy (BEWA); The Business Centre :: Business Structure, Innovation and Marketing; School of Invention; Portfolio 9, among others (I only mentioned the ones which are not closed, and I left out WhatsApp groups).
My point? Join a community of like-minded individuals. A community of people who are going the same way as you. Your journey will be easier and fun.
3. Learn from people who have walked the journey you are trying to embark on
Joining groups automatically meant I started to follow some people. Great people, I must say.
I had been hearing of coaches and mentors, and how they can help your journey, but it used to look like something to do in a distant, non-existent future.
But now, I began to really know the meaning, and impact, of coaches and mentors. I started to follow influencers. Consume their articles. Sign up for their paid trainings and seminars (the ones I could afford). And I began to really see a change in my life. Change that had just been a distant wish before.
People who have really stood out for me include: I actually made a list here, but I deleted it to avoid any hullaballoo.
4. Stop this mentality of free everything
Free training, free webinar, free seminar, free certificate, blah, blah, blah… Stop that mindset immediately!
Many young people have this mindset that, “if they really want to help us, they should give us for free na”. Tueh! Spit it out! Let that mindset stop on January 7, 2020. Going forward, start planning to spend YOUR money to develop YOUR self. Stop looking for free stuff everywhere.
The Yorubas say “ògùn tí a kò bá fi owó șe, ẹyìn àrò ló ń gbé” meaning, medicine we didn’t spend money on, usually gets left behind the hearth.
When you pay for something, then you have even more motivation to value that thing.
And while I have not been paying for everything I wished I could pay for, I have definitely paid for trainings that, this time last year, I did not even dream I could.
5. Consciously take control of your own life
Atrophy – decay of something due to disuse. Or in this context, when something continues to decay because you just leave it to “nature”.
This mindset of what will be will be. Trust me, what will be, will not be if you do not make a conscious effort to make it be. Develop the mindset that “if it is to be, it is up to me”. Just a bunch of two-letter words, but very powerful if put to use.
It is your life after all, so take control of it and know that no one is responsible for your greatness, or lack of it, except you. Not your parents. Not your family. Not your spiritual leaders. Not even God. Only you!
They say the water one will drink will not flow past him. But you go to the stream and just sit there. See if the water will flow past you or not. I laugh you!
6. Trust the process. Celebrate small wins
Coach Kingsley Ime, blessed man, never stops making me realize something – you are not where you want to be, but you are not where you used to be.
Sometimes, it looks like you are not moving at all, and everybody is moving way ahead of you.
At times like these, look back at how far you have come and you will realize that there is much to be grateful for.
The holy book says never to despise the day of small beginnings. If you don’t take baby steps, how can you become strong enough to leap and jump? Enjoy the journey and the process, and always be grateful that you are moving.
That is what matters – that you are moving.
CONCLUSION
This time last year, I posted on my blog that the things I wanted for my birthday were a new phone and a laptop.
This year, while I will definitely not mind either of those things, what I really want for a birthday gift is a one-on-one with people like Ademola Morebise, Edirin Edewor, Eno Sam, John Obidi, Kingsley Ime, etc (PS – the list is strictly in alphabetical order. PPS – All these people made the list I alluded to earlier).
When I thought about that, it made me realize that my mindset has really changed indeed. I have grown from where I used to be.
As a final message, happy birthday to me!!!
PlanetDynamo 